Page 26 - BusinessWest March 4, 2024

Unmarried Parents Are Still Parents
Keep in Mind These Considerations for Successful Co-parenting
BY JULIE A. DIALESSI-LAFLEY, ESQ.
“First and foremost, parents need to be reminded that fathers need to be responsible, present, and cooperative with the mothers of their children, and mothers need to encourage, support, and accept the relationship a child has with their father.”
More and more frequently, people are opting not to get married, but are still desirous of having children and becoming parents, whether or not they are in a com-
mitted relationship with their partner. The decision to have a child or children creates a permanent connection to the other parent, regardless of the marital status of the parents.
Unmarried parents have various types of relationships. We see unmarried parents that live together, some have separate households but spend time together, and many are not togeth- er any longer and may have new relationships. The unmarried parents need to navigate how to bring up their child together while being apart. This requires that both parents understand that the other parent has a right to be in the life of the child. The law supports the idea that fathers and mothers both have the right to parent their children, even if unmarried.
Emotions of the parties often cloud their judgment when considering the role of the other parent in the life of the child. Did the parties break up? Has one person (or both) moved on? Was the relationship short-term without commitment and lack- ing a foundation between the parents? The history of the rela- tionship is certainly impactful on the parent; however, first and foremost, parents need to be reminded that fathers need to be responsible, present, and cooperative with the mothers of their children, and mothers need to encourage, support, and accept the relationship a child has with their father.
The Child’s Best Interest
The standard in the Commonwealth of Massachusetts to determine a parenting plan and custodial relationship with children and parents starts with a best-interest standard. The presumption is that both parents should play a role in the life
of a child unless it is not in the child’s best interest. It is often difficult for a parent to separate their feelings about the other parent when trying to determine the parenting relationship. It is clear, however, that simply because someone is not a good part- ner does not mean they should not be in the life of their child.
When parents are not married, the law provides that, absent an agreement or court order otherwise, the mother has sole legal and physical custody of the child. This is rebuttable and is not intended to prevent fathers from having equal foot- ing in the lives of their children.
More times than not, with good communication, the par- ents can develop a parenting plan that provides for both par- ents to be involved in the legal decision making for the major medical, educational, and religious decisions of the child. This is what is known as legal custody. Parents can agree to share legal custody and make these major decisions together.
If they are unable to agree, a court may order shared legal custody if a history of the parents being able to work together to make these decisions can be demonstrated. Even if the court does not order shared legal custody, both parents still have the right by statute to have access to the medical and
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26 MARCH 4, 2024
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